nothing is real, part XX, by my head is empty

nothing is real, part XX

by my head is empty

supported by

	/

Streaming + Download

Includes high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more. Paying supporters also get unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app.

Purchasable with gift card

name your price
Full Digital Discography

92

releases

Get all 92 my head is empty releases available on Bandcamp and save 90%.

Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of ambient vol. 8, ambient vol. 7, nothing is real, part XX, yesterday, ambient vol. 6, nothing is real, part XIX, ambient vol. 5, familiars, and 84 more. , and , .

Purchasable with gift card

$14.40 USD or more (90% OFF)

1.	my head is empty, Miranda Rain - when you're not home 03:10	buy track
2.	right now 02:56	buy track
3.	you're a bad person. 05:44	buy track
4.	(i need you to try harder) 00:51	buy track
5.	my head is empty, Miranda Rain - i fall apart, 03:25	buy track
6.	when you hurt me like this. 05:57	buy track
7.	exit plan 03:22	buy track
8.	the most pain possible 02:20	buy track

about

album artwork by midlevain.
soundcloud mix version : soundcloud.com/tidecruz/nothing-is-real-part-xx

this album is written in a time of hardships, and bliss. being with Miranda, feeling as if soul mates can exist for the first time is eye opening to say the least. and with all these great feelings, that balance in the world people always speak of becomes ever more present. it has felt like, the more i appreciate love, the more my health and people who don't know me at all try to tear me down, or take what i've worked so hard for.

i hesitate to say anything online, and especially in person. it feels like no matter how good my intention is, any effort to express my feelings is ultimately twisted and used to make me out to be a villain.

this far into the progression of my brain disease, i have began to accept that people don't care, and i shouldn't expect them to. it's my burden, not the world's, and it might actually be worse for me to mention it, as it could feel like an attempt to make people pitty me and listen to my silly music.

this album is me dealing with not knowing what to do, how to act, what to say, all the while MS reaping havoc on my body.

i've don't know how to deal with other people, i never really have. for most of my time sharing music online, i disable messages everywhere. and it really hurts. because some of the things that have changed my life, is people who find a way and get some really nice words to me. but i live in fear. there are people out there, who have and continue to take my music (especially the ambient) thinking that, i am perhaps just too bad at music to "finish" the song, and take the liberty to add drums and "remix" my music, which normally would be cool. but going on step further they release the illegally sampled music to places like spotify and make money off of it. i wish there was some way to explain to people that my life, and my health are not easy. i am physically unable to work.

any amount of energy i use raises my already permanently high body temp, and makes my eye sight go out. just the act of basic exercise like carrying grocery's leaves me unable to see. if i try to move some boxes, the next few days my hand doesn't work.

regular MRI scans of my brain always reveal more and more lesions on my brain, neck and spine. there is no cure for MS, only a slow decay into determinant dysfunction.

to have a chance to make music, which is more or less something i can handle without feeling awful is such a blessing. it means so much, when people simply chose to steam my songs. it gives me a chance at living a normal life, and my dream of being able to provide for Miranda as well.

ultimately, lately i've felt very defeated. and it's my fault. i should always keep my mind on those who are kind and want nothing from me. but dealing with my disease, and then harassing messages from people who are angry they got a copyright strike for sampling my music illegally. i'm just at a loss for words. i'm really sorry i can't make every song seem "finished" to everyone. i wish all those from tiktok who only know my ambient would hear some of the "nothing is real" albums, deep down i think they would be like "wow theres alot of work in these!". and trust me, i love seeing someone sharing these songs. it's so incredible, the hundreds of thousands of tiktoks featuring the ambient songs, or youtube videos edited to movies and animes. but when my work is taken and uploaded to a place like spotify where money is being made from advertisements, it is indeed illegal sampling. i just, i don't know what to say. i wish i wasn't made out to be a bad person. it feels like im being told from some people in messages, "let me add drums to ur song and make money off of it, or you're pure evil and i hate you!!!" i didn't make the rules, or the laws. i appreciate anyone who has ever been inspired by anything i've made, and i want one thing to be known...

one day i will be gone, and all that's left will be these songs. i just wanted to capture how frustrating all of this is. as want anyone out there who feels like they we not given a fair chance to know i feel this way too, and while i know it's more proper to be grateful for what you have, and to be alive at all, it just feels impossible at times, and the pressure of it all seems unbearable. i want the nothing is real albums to be remebered as some crazy project of some insane dude who pushed his computer to blue screen from how many instruments and files went into the projects, with lots of little details. i don't want to inspire people to remix them, i want to inspire people to be like "hey i should make my own project like this, i should start a youtube channel," or "i should start writing some crazy book series!"

i know you are not perfect, and i sure am not either. but, i hope you will enjoy this album, i tried to make it as personal as possible with some up-close and personal recordings, leaving in all the imperfections, to hopefully inspire you, or at least make you feel okay with the rough edges of our lives.

thanks for listening, and im sorry for being so offended by everything all the time. i think that is why its best i just don't speak out much about my feelings. i know some people will understand, i'm just too afraid of those who seek to push me when i'm already down, to stand taller.

credits

released January 4, 2024

license

about

my head is empty

my head is empty (formerly tidecruz) music plays in various shows on the VICELAND network, in the film eHero with Sean Astin, an Adidas documentary, and as the soundtrack for the upcoming video game Monsters - Trouble In Paradise, by Q-Games of Kyoto, Japan. ... more

contact / help

Contact my head is empty

Streaming and
Download help

Report this album or account

If you like my head is empty, you may also like:

Before The Night
by HOME

supported by 5 fans who also own “nothing is real, part XX”

there is no way that you don't like home. trust me, you definitely don't wanna be homeless. Dog Bikini
go to album
Odyssey
by HOME

supported by 4 fans who also own “nothing is real, part XX”

Very fresh and enlightening music. loonyleo
go to album
Lake Shaped Embrace
by Airships on the Water

Airships on the Water return with another LP of phenomenally textured post-rock, moving from tender passages to well-earned crescendos. Bandcamp New & Notable Feb 13, 2022
go to album
Moons Melt Milk Light
by Anenon

Anenon’s hushed, expressive, minimalist neo-classical music lands as soft as a whisper on the breeze. Bandcamp New & Notable Dec 16, 2023
go to album
Impromptu
by Julian Klaas

Julian Klaas serves up a dozen devastatingly tender and fragile piano compositions that have the stunning stillness of ambient music. Bandcamp New & Notable Mar 27, 2023
go to album
Cataclysmic System Binding Loss
by Carbon In Prose

Shards of static & distortion crash against disarmingly beautiful piano & synth melodies on this riveting new record from Carbon and Prose. Bandcamp New & Notable Oct 30, 2022
go to album
Lost on the soft edge
by Fifth Botanist

Texas oceanographer Daniel C. O. Thornton weaves field recordings into his shimmering ambient tracks to create absorbing sound collages. Bandcamp New & Notable Apr 3, 2022
go to album