nothing is real, part XVI, by my head is empty

nothing is real, part XVI

by my head is empty

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Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of ambient vol. 8, ambient vol. 7, nothing is real, part XX, yesterday, ambient vol. 6, nothing is real, part XIX, ambient vol. 5, familiars, and 84 more. , and , .

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1.	my body is dying, 04:49	lyrics	buy track
everything was green and happy, you and in love so maybe if we take a step back we can go back in time (if youre not with me..) whats 1000 years, if you're not with me i see your eyes glowing, across the fjord i do it all for you everything was green and happy you and i love so maybe if we take a step back we can go back in time (please listen, to everything that i say, to you) maybe just one more night maybe i'll hold on so i never plan for things to change, we try and try out best to stay the same no matter what i do, to stay close to you every step forward, is 100 steps back no matter what comes, i never take it back (do it all over, again) (do it all over, again) maybe just one more night maybe i'll hold on so i never plan for things to change, we try and try out best to stay the same no matter what i do, to stay close to you every step forward, is 100 steps back no matter what comes, i never take it back
2.	and i wish someone knew, 02:55		buy track
3.	just what i'm going thru; 04:33		buy track
4.	there is nothing i can do. 03:15		buy track
5.	good try, kid 02:00		buy track
6.	mystery 01:57		buy track
7.	life, on hold 01:28		buy track
8.	prednisone song 01:55		buy track

about

for those who download, there are 2 bonus tracks hidden in the zip, and a photo of my scar across my chest.
as i stare death in the eyes again, i will instead share the story of my birth.
when i was born i was crushed in half. my chest was completely sunken in and i was to die.
i grew up deformed and as soon as i was old enough i went under the blade. a gifted surgeon saved my life by cutting my chest all the way across, using a saw and cut every single one of my ribs and sternum in half and straightened my chest. because of my birth, i am to avoid things like weight lifting, as i can bend in half at my mid chest , not just my waist. this made me an adequate skateboarder, but always being the camera man hunched over only made things worse. ultimately i found music and it saved my life from the drug culture, bad friends, and helped me have the time i needed to discover who i was and the reason why i didn’t die at birth. i was always meant to be the one who couldn’t kick the kickball far, get invited to the school dance, or called a druggy for being a skateboarder. all these things left immense emotional damage that i only today see were the building blocks to what i consider to be the last bastion of emotional music, from the deepest depths of depression, hopelessness, physical and emotional agony, self injury, and grief. sometimes at night i lay in bed rubbing my finger across my scar, and i speak to the ceeling at my best friend Jake. He was shot in the head and left dead for 3 days in a pool of his own blood by a man who broke in to steal his weed. I lay here touching this scar telling jake, “I’m going to do all the things we said we were going to do.” The final song on the album, because my hands were not working. I called apon him. i said, “Jake, be my hands when my body has failed me. I want you to make a song like the old style. Like nothing is real part 1.” and my hands began to move on their own. i wasn’t thinking or feeling my body’s pain anymore. in just 4 hours jakes soul inhabited my body and completed this song. And when he was done, i snapped out of it and hit play. Thank you jake, for helping me on this album. You did great friend. One day again i will call fourth your name to carry me when my feet begin to drag.

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released October 9, 2022

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my head is empty

my head is empty (formerly tidecruz) music plays in various shows on the VICELAND network, in the film eHero with Sean Astin, an Adidas documentary, and as the soundtrack for the upcoming video game Monsters - Trouble In Paradise, by Q-Games of Kyoto, Japan. ... more

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